I’ve recently been contemplating abundance and joy as I feel it through my senses. Smelling life.
The simple truth that in each moment, I truly have everything that I need. This and every following moment of sensuous presence; recharged by my own aliveness.
I’m always arrived, here, feeling rivers of sensation massage my whole body—head to toe.
I notice my own presence thrum deeply within my bones and sinew, like a song that I hear from within.
And then I get pulled into scarcity: the feeling lack, striving, chasing, seeking, searching or not-enough. I feel my body contract and tense. Not-Quite-Right (NQR) sensations bubble up to the surface of my awareness always in these dense moments… it does not last long. I respond almost instantaneously to these implosions. They take me in, I go with them, following the sensations with loving attention. I become an explorer navigating new inner terrain. Willing to get lost.
The NQR sense is calling me back into sensuousness. To soften into who I am, where I am, as I am. A reconnection. A little reminder that there is nothing to fix. I am arrived, here, always.
I’m always precisely where I need to be, learning what I need to learn, growing and evolving into my next version of self. It’s a cycle of life unfolding within and around me. I’m part of it.
So I expand into my fuller radiant self and I breathe a little deeper. The NQR passes and I’m flooded with full body sensation head to toe; the gates of vitality open when I surrender into my body rather than fight myself.
Body scanning for me is not ‘thinking’ about the body. It’s not observing ourselves from a distance. It’s not a mental exercise or an intellectual mishmash of geometric shapes. It’s being inside the inner experience of our sensory landscapes. We go in. We enter our felt-sense entirely. We become life.
The full body vibration ripples freely no matter where I am or what I am doing, when I connect inwards. Joy ripples through my neural synapses because I’m quite content to ‘be’.
The slime-like feel of conditioner against my shoulder as I wash my long hair slowly. I rest into it.
The prickles of sand inside my socks and the dirt under my fingernails from planting seedlings in the veggie box. I marinate in these textures.
The visual mess and vibrancy of chaos that is my kitchen lounge. Everything everywhere and nothing out of place—the scattering of joy upon each food scrap, random paper and soiled clothing that hasn’t yet made it to the laundry. A smile upon my lips.
I ‘see’ the story of preschooler fun written all over the floor: mud, rain, thorns, and spontaneity.
Mystery surrounds me, and mystery is at the heart of it all. Sensual living is a commitment to presence, connection and mystery.
Nothing is prepackaged or certain.
In my Sensing Ground community, we talk about consciously weaning ourselves from our addiction to certainty; we know it’s a trap. An anxious scramble to a destination that doesn’t exist—because we are always here, arrived.
Each breath has a mysterious and joyful quality.
Each sound that falls upon my ears has a mysterious and pretty unfolding melody; bird song, laughter, a child’s defiant scream.
Each touch upon my skin has a mysterious length, firmness and brevity; always shifting, gliding and changing with my own mysterious movement.
Each moment is fresh. New. Unknown. Something to invite in and meet. A living gift to receive and open up towards, to taste it all fully.
I feel utterly full. There is nothing more that I need because I am satiated with beauty. The subtle joy of everything everywhere of which I am a part.
Patterns, colours, textures and music.
Life is art. When I plug into myself, I am free and wild in the most beautiful sense. Connected to the universe within.
And nobody else knows about my sensuous inner life: it’s my secret, for me, moment to moment.
Your sensuous life, is yours.
Stay tuned for more details about Sensing Ground: I am creating something beautiful for everyone who would like to join the sensuous.
