Let’s talk about struggling.
Life can feel like a very long, dark tunnel with no end in sight.
I struggle too. With my human aches and deep pain.
It grips tight, sucks inwards.
My thoughts circle around thin air grappling to make sense of the emotional ache.
I sigh heavily — often during this struggle. An exasperated sigh as though my insides are reaching deep for more juice.
At times like this I feel like I’m doing life wrong, I’ve missed the memo and there’s no turning back. I feel alone.
Only more of this human heart ache again and again.
To love is to know this ache.
This yearning for intimate connection with some part of the outer world.
My inner world is crying for the outer world. To weave the two together in a union that makes sense.
That’s the mystery unfolding.
The unknown.
Sometimes there is no voice to soothe the pain.
Sometimes there is no silver lining or happy ending.
Sometimes there is a chasm that nobody sees, so it’s not there.
Except it is there, because I feel it.
The chasm exists inside of me.
And, I know that it’s real, and it belongs.
Even if nobody else can feel it too.
The chasm brings me a message, a dirge-like song. A whisper. A hushed tone. I hear it.
It begs me to share my story.
It tells me that our human aches and pains are meant for art. To be shared in creative ways. To be heard. To be felt. To be recognised despite their invisible nature.
It’s not easy to share our stories.
Writing my next book, Sensing Ground, has challenged me to share my story in ways that I’ve never shared it.
It’s taking me to new edges. To pause and breathe. To question who I am and who I am not.
It’s making me question why bother? Does my story matter?
I could wrap it up tight and hide it inside of me. Keep my pains to myself and silently suffer. I could pretend that there is no pain.
My prayer for us all is that we own our personal story and share it somewhere safe. Not a shopping list of symptoms, but our deeper stories. The stories that are Sacred. The stories that move us to tears.
Stories shape our world.
Your story matters.
I’ll do my very best to share mine.
